Obama Gender Compliant Outhouse

By Major Van Harl

Gun Free Restrooms
Gun Free Restrooms
Major Van Harl USAF Ret
Major Van Harl USAF Ret

Wisconsin –-(Ammoland.com)- So I am out at my farm helping the in-laws split firewood and I decide to crush the end of my dominate hand, middle finger, as well as injure my trigger finger.

I knew I was headed to the local emergency room.

We do not have running water on the farm so we have a very nice $2000 outhouse to meet those needs. My hand was throbbing, but I needed to use the outhouse before we drove to town. The first thing I had to do one-handed was take the handgun off my belt. It added too much weight to my pants and left me off center when trying to work a pants-belt with only my weak hand.

While at the emergency room I had to use the restroom a couple of times. They had those gender neutral restrooms and both times someone was knocking on the door wanting me to hurry up and finish. In good times I would simply tell them “just a minute” but given how hard doing anything that afternoon was turning out to be, I really wanted to tell them to take a flying leap. Good thing I remained polite behind the restroom door since both times it was a woman knocking.

So I come walking out of the restroom after much difficulty putting myself back together. I am unshaven, wearing camo pants, blood-stained shirt, un-combed hair and holding my right middle finger up in front of me because it is throbbing. Of course it looks like I am flipping someone off.

I do not know what goes on in public lady’s restrooms, but I have a pretty good idea what goes on in public men’s restrooms. Gentleman, think back to your younger days of hanging out in bars with loud music, smoking, and very poor men’s rooms to use. Usual there was only one enclosed stall to use. So, if a group of guys had all gone out for a big meal on the way to the “club” there may be a situation at some point in the evening where more than one male is needing that single sit-down restroom stall. Throw in a peristaltic rush (look it up) along with an evening of drinking and there was the potential for a physically and emotionally explosive confrontation in the men’s room.

Envision one of your hands is not working correctly and completing the process takes a lot more time than normal. You are already sitting there in a very vulnerable position, struggling with your damaged hand, and now you have a potential personal security issue.

But, what if you are not a guy; you are a woman in a public restroom with an injured hand and a young child you are trying to assist? What if the big male with the large meal still sitting heavy in his stomach and of course the alcohol in his system really needs to go? He leaves the men’s room and decides to invoke Obama’s new nation-wide restroom rule. He declares today he feels he is a woman and plows right into the ladies room. He starts his loud, aggressive tactics, banging on the restroom stall door demanding immediate entry and usage?

What if this alleged incident does not happen in liberal New York or California, but in one of the many states that have concealed or better yet constitutional carry gun laws? By now the little daughter is screaming and mom is half scared to death. They are trapped literally with their back to a wall and with no avenue of escape. Mom reaches into her purse and pulls out a handgun and defends her life and her daughter’s life.

Come on, the guy only wanted to relieve himself or he only wanted to take a shower in the lady’s locker room. Obama’s rule said he could do that. Did the young mother not read the newspaper? Gender-neutral means everyone can declare what they think they are or perhaps they want to be that day, and nobody should be pulling out weapons to defend their life or the lives of family in a public restroom.

After hours in the emergency room it was time to head back to the farm. Of course I am out in the outhouse trying yet again to work the process with one hand. I decided it was prudent to pack up and go home early to indoor plumbing.

I was thinking how great my $2000 outhouse is. It came fully compliant with Obama’s rule two years before Obama even made the rule. My outhouse does not care who you are or how you use a restroom. Anyone can step right in and satisfy personal needs without a single bit of discrimination, off-putting stares or comments, or getting shot.

I do not envision a lot of attractive women walking into a men’s locker room, disrobing while declaring themselves a man and asking the “boys” if they mind if she-now-he, showers with the guys.

I am not making light of people who truly feel or believe they are trapped in the wrong gender body. I do believe this happens in nature and those folks need understanding, consideration, and help. They do not need to be harassed, but their unannounced appearance in the opposite sex rest room will cause consternation and maybe alarm.

There will however be people, most likely men, who will try to take advantage of the situation. There will be violence and people will get hurt. Of course when the injured mother uses deadly force to defend her child, the cry will be for more gun control and gun free restrooms.

The next time you enter a restroom try to complete the entire process with just one hand. It is very hard to accomplish. Add a loud possibly angry voice of the opposite sex demanding immediate entry and see how fast your anxiety level goes up. Vulnerability can make the nicest person drop back to the fight or flight of basis survival. With injury or disability you increase that anxiety.

Do you think Bubba, the football player at Sasha and Malia’s school, will ever be allowed to declare himself a female and go in and shower with the Obama’s daughters? I do not imagine Michelle has shared a restroom or locker room with anyone in years, but what if Bubba’s dad has declared himself a woman and wants to shower in Michelle’s presents, do you think that might happen in your life time?

At least I have the first Obama gender compliant outhouse. It would be funny if it was not so potentially dangerous.

Major Van Harl USAF Ret. / [email protected]

About Major Van Harl USAF Ret.:Major Van E. Harl USAF Ret., a career Police Officer in the U.S. Air Force was born in Burlington, Iowa, USA, in 1955. He was the Deputy Chief of police at two Air Force Bases and the Commander of Law Enforcement Operations at another. He is a graduate of the U.S. Army Infantry School.  A retired Colorado Ranger and currently is an Auxiliary Police Officer with the Cudahy PD in Milwaukee County, WI.  His efforts now are directed at church campus safely and security training.  He believes “evil hates organization.”  [email protected]

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You could have 3 bathroom doors with single character descriptions. ‘M’ for male, ‘F’ for female and ‘?’ for whoever is behind door number 3.

Clark Kent

‘Problem solved’? You don’t think that men will look over the stalls when a female is occupying same? Grow up.


Just make all bathrooms gender neutral. It will only be weird the first time or two and then after you get used to it then it will seem perfectly normal. Problem solved. If someone tries anything they can still be prosecuted same as before. Have stalls for privacy for all.

Clark Kent

‘Problem solved’? So you don’t think a male can look over the stall that a female is using? Grow up.

Jesse Scott

Reach down. Feel package. Use appropriate toilet. If confused, stay home. There…no edicts needed.

Robert Brison

Lol, Jesse ,that is some funny sh.t! But on the other hand, things are just going to keep getting worse if we don’t do something about it, now!

Matt in Oklahoma

I will never allow some sexual predator the opportunity to identify and use the restroom with any of my family. Sexual predators are both sexes and the amount of schoolteachers sleeping with kids should show you that because it’s not about love its about control.

Isa Guy

I’ve maintained since Obama’s edict that the easy way to solve the problem for schools is to lock all bathrooms and set up one of the “trailer outhouse banks” that they have at concerts. Heck, they’d make a good investment and potentially a great new business for some people. Especially those that drive the Honeybucket trucks. And then we could send the loads by train to D.C. and give them sh*t to deal with… But yeah, you raise a valid point. Until all restrooms are single occupant, with floor to ceiling enclosures and adequate ventilation…as per your article…then that self… Read more »


LOL! I don’t have anything on gender. But after four years of public restrooms I went to a shoulder holster, now the one handed thing is not an issue.

Nor is trying to balance my fire arm on the paper holder when I drop my pants an issue.


Stupid rant