Dilbert, On Gold You Cannot Eat

By Major Van Harl USAF Ret

Dilbert on Survival Gold
Dilbert on Survival Gold – Image belongs to Dilbert.com all rights reserved.
Major Van Harl USAF Ret
Major Van Harl USAF Ret

Wisconsin –-(Ammoland.com)-  Dilbert is a daily newspaper cartoon about office life and the politics of corporate business. Dilbert is the smart, but very sarcastic engineer employee of the company who is always in a battle of wits with his abusive, but also clueless boss.

This past week’s topic was the hoarding of gold. The pointy haired boss (PHB) is bragging to his subordinates that he is hoarding gold in his home for when the economy collapses.

In one cartoon, after telling Dilbert about his gold, Dilbert asks the PHB if he still keeps a key to his home under the front door mat. Possession of gold and the lack of security means you don’t keep the gold for very long.

In another cartoon the PHB states to a female employee “You’ll be sorry when the world economy collapses,” “but I’ll be okay because I hoarded gold at my house.”

The responding answer from the employee was “on day two you’ll trade all of it for a sandwich.

I watch with a bit of skepticism the cable news channels that have the gold for sale advertisements. Now do not get me wrong I would like to be able to buy gold coins in large batches and bury them in the back yard for “just in case.”

For one thing I would love to see my child’s face as the attorney reads her our will, looking up to say “oh, by the way your folks left you a Wells Fargo strongbox full of gold coins,” “Make sure before you sell your parents home you dig it up and take to gold home to your backyard.”

But this is not going to happen in my life.

The line about trading the gold on day two of a crisis for a sandwich is what you need to concentrate on.

Gold is valuable and gets even more valuable during hard times, but always remember you cannot eat gold and you cannot use it to defend yourself from “walkers.” As of 18 Sept 2015 the price of gold was $1140.60. That amount will get you a flat screen TV and some snacks to eat during the next football game.

Always remember the difference between insurance and assurance.

  • Insurance is what you buy so someone can give you a check after the crisis, that you cash, and use the money to rebuild what is broken: car, health, home and your stuff. This is assuming you are still living in a “normal” world where there are things to buy with your insurance money.
  • Assurance is what you spend your $1140.60 gold coin money on in advance that will assure your chances of surviving a crisis.
Mountain House Freeze Dried Ice Cream
Mountain House Freeze Dried Ice Cream

So if you cannot eat the gold, how about spending that gold-buying money up front on non-perishable food. I know you do not want to spend $1140.60 on cans of food. Everyone knows you will never need it, so what you do with it after it has been sitting on your shelf for five years? If you had spent that money on a new TV or laptop computer and after five years they stopped working, you know you would just go buy another replacement electronic unit.

Never looking back on all the money you spent five years earlier on a TV–that useful money is just gone. Now I know your answer is you got to use the TV or computer for the past five years. If you had bought $1140.60 of canned food and never consumed any of it, it is still sitting there collecting dust on the shelf. Dusty cans of eatable food are the assurance, a TV is entertainment that will most likely not even work in a crisis—it is not assurance.

Gold could rise in value to $8000 an ounce in time of a major world crisis. If gold hits that level then the food production system of the US will not be working. If I have a pickup truck full of non-perishable food as the world is falling apart, and you offer me two or three gold Krugerrands because they have the falsely believed inflated value of $8000 X 3, do you really think I will swap you my food for your coins?

Perhaps the employee who told the PHB he would be surrendering his gold for a sandwich on the second day of a world crisis is not that far off.

This country only has a 24 hour supply of food in our US-wide food distribution system. In time of crisis food and firearms (really ammo) are the only two things of true value. There is nothing wrong with owning gold and silver, just do not bet your life on it. Where will you spend your hard earned assurance dollars?

Check Out AmmoLand’s Related Article : Best Survival Items You’ll Wish You Had When SHTF

Major Van Harl USAF Ret. / [email protected]

About Major Van Harl USAF Ret.:Major Van E. Harl USAF Ret., a career Police Officer in the U.S. Air Force was born in Burlington, Iowa, USA, in 1955. He was the Deputy Chief of police at two Air Force Bases and the Commander of Law Enforcement Operations at another. He is a graduate of the U.S. Army Infantry School.  A retired Colorado Ranger and currently is an Auxiliary Police Officer with the Cudahy PD in Milwaukee County, WI.  His efforts now are directed at church campus safely and security training.  He believes “evil hates organization.”  [email protected]

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a lot depends on where you live and how you were raised. I imagine after about 3-4 weeks if you are alive you will make it. if you stay away from people for a few more weeks. either way good luck.


It’s not an either-or decision. Having precious metals is better than having all excessive assets in the bank where they’re dollar-denominated and gradually being leached of value by the government. Plus, if there’s a run on the banks, good luck ever seeing that money again.

The coming crisis/es could take many forms. There are plenty of possible plateaus between the current “normal” and post-apocalyptic savagery. A good balance of gold, non-perishable food, and ammo gives you the most versatility.

resistence is futile

Gold will only be worth something as long as people believe in it’s value. If people lose belief then it is completely worthless as currency. Now if you have silver it could be useful if you have to shoot werewolves. To be serious I believe that in the early stages of some emergency, gold will have value, but as necessities diminish then it will not be worth as much as food and water. The law of supply and demand will determine it’s own value.

Dr Dave

The issue is risk assessment. Everyone who hoards or as the more politically correct tem “preps” for mass annihilation assumes that the risk is better that in their lifetime there will be a massive “incident” rather then the chance that there won’t be and that gold would eventually not be as valuable as a sandwich. I for one am betting that there won’t be any even close to mass annihilation and if there is that in reality who would want to live thru it since 99% of civilization will be gone. Reading his article there is only a day of… Read more »


I want to be alive when 99% of society is gone. Having that much of society disappear means that most of the stupid goes with it (no, I’m not calling you stupid, you make some valid points). What Harl is saying is gold doesn’t matter in comparison with tangible goods on day 2 and I happen to agree. Yes, I have gold and silver. I’m keeping them around for the time well after a collapse. But they are not even close to my top priority. in fact they make up less than 2% of my spending for emergencies. The reality… Read more »

General Mills

I’m really sick and tired of Major Know-It-All … first he wants me to load my kids up on those vaccines to brain damage them. And now he wants me to get rid of my gold.

Tell you what, Major — how about you stick to sharing your wife’s BBQ recipes? Sorry, I mean the Colonel’s BBQ recipes, you ball-less freak.


@General Mills – Seems like the Major misses the Air Force where he was probably telling people what to do there.


Ounce for ounce .22LR might be another good investment vehicle?

Steve K

Yep! That’s why there’s so much 22lr hoarding. 9mm is also a good assurance.


I got one hell of a lot of gold and silver bullion,firearms and enough ammo for a couple lifetimes !