Trump Activates Militia, Calls All Capable of Bearing Arms to Carry (satire)

By Dean Weingarten Posted April One 2017

Arizona – -(Ammoland.com)-On Saturday, President Donald Trump issued an executive order activating the Militia in all 50 states and seven U.S. territories. The executive order claimed that as president he had authority as Commander in Chief to activate the militia, consisting of “All people capable of bearing arms”.

In the order, President Trump urged all militia members to carry arms during their daily activities as a way to deter terrorism and prevent crime.

President Trump’s order was immediately decried as unconstitutional by Maximum Waters, spokesperson for the Democrat Party. Ms Waters stated that the order was blatantly illegal, because the activating militia law, dating to 1916, only applies to males, while the order applies to all people, including women, and trans women who may be biologically male, but identify as women.

Waters noted that Mr. Trump could not force women and trans-women to carry weapons, and that the infusion of tens of millions of armed militia in the streets would drive up crime, and endanger minorities in urban centers such as Chicago and Baltimore.

The order will go into effect on 1 April, 2017, at 24:59:59 Pacific time, and extend until 00:00:01 on 2 April, 2017, Eastern Standard time. Militia members are ordered to exercise the NRA safety rules and to keep their fingers outside of the trigger guard unless necessary to prevent violence.  If action is necessary, judicious marksmanship is expected.

NRA spokesperson, Chris LaPierre, declined comment in time for publication.

Gun Owners of America issued a brief statement saying that the order was long overdue, but did not go far enough. Nonetheless, GOA considered the action a good first step.

National Pubic Radio commentator Mary Liason stated that numerous studies showed that millions of untrained militia on the streets with weapons of war would result in bloodshed. Just look at Venezuela, Brazil, Liberia, Somalia, Iraq and Zimbabwe, she explained.

White House spokesman Sean Spicer defended the order at a press briefing. The President is exercising his lawful authority under the National Defense act of 1916, Spicer said.  A quick search on the Internet yielded this result. From justia.com:

The act of February 28, 1795,₁₆₇₀ which delegated to the President the power to call out the militia, was held constitutional.₁₆₇₁ A militiaman who refused to obey such a call was not “employed in the service of the United States so as to be subject to the article of war,” but was liable to be tried for disobedience of the act of 1795.₁₆₇₂

(snip)

Under the National Defense Act of 1916,₁₆₇₄ the militia, which hitherto had been an almost purely state institution, was brought under the control of the National Government. The term “militia of the United States” was defined to comprehend “all able-bodied male citizens of the United States and all other able-bodied males who have . . . declared their intention to become citizens of the United States,” between the ages of eighteen and forty-five.

It is clear that women are not included in the militia, as stated by Democrat Spokesperson Maximum.  Senator Schumer said that he expects impeachment papers to be issued later today in the Senate.

Judges in California, Hawaii, and Washington state are expected to write judicial decrees blocking President Trump from issuing any additional orders to any military organization. One judge is said to have ruled that calling up the militia is racist, sexist, and homophobic, therefore the order is illegal.

Those who have read this far will recognize that the first day of April is reserved for the application of stories designed to enlighten people otherwise deficient in wisdom.

©2017 by Dean Weingarten: Permission to share is granted when this notice and link are included.

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About Dean Weingarten;

Dean Weingarten has been a peace officer, a military officer, was on the University of Wisconsin Pistol Team for four years, and was first certified to teach firearms safety in 1973. He taught the Arizona concealed carry course for fifteen years until the goal of constitutional carry was attained. He has degrees in meteorology and mining engineering, and recently retired from the Department of Defense after a 30 year career in Army Research, Development, Testing, and Evaluation.